AM I ENOUGH?

This week I think I washed my face a total of three times. Gross maybe but mostly just sad. Its because its finals week and I also work 9-5 (wow i'm a real ass adult !!) on days I don't have class. Now I love my job and my friends and school so much. But, it all comes at a price apparently. I have never had so little free time in my life and I love it. I love my busy schedule because its filled with people and things that I love so much and its all apart of my plan. My plan to get to where I want to be. So why does it feel like I'm still somehow lacking. Like even though I am so happy and in such a great place personally, I still feel like I am somehow not enough. Let me know if this has happened to any of you because I feel like I am just on this amazing new journey but I feel so guilty. Theres so many friends and family that constantly guilt trip me for not calling enough and not texting back enough.

And to be completely honest I lied before. I didn't feel guilty about it at all until I was taken on a goddamn guilt trip.

Now I know its not intentional (or at least my optimistic mind believes its not) so I try not to let it get to me but wow I feel like I can't win. Because I either have a shit ton of free time and am personally just unfulfilled or I am finally happy and then somehow in the wrong. I don't know if its just another amazing perk of being a woman or if men also feel this way? Maybe its apart of growing as a person? I don't know. But what I do know is trying to eat healthy, staying on budget, working out, grocery shopping, going to class, getting all my school shit done, going to work, somehow maintaining a social life, finding time for myself, going through my latest scheme as to how I will change the world, oh and also making sure to call all my family plus friends from back home is a hell of a lot for one person.

Maybe its finals week getting to me or maybe I just really am not enough.

lol sike im still that bitch.