DOES IT EVER GET EASIER?

Weird things are happening. Frank Ocean dropped his album (no this is not a typo), I rekindled a friendship I never thought I could, and my oldest friends hate me. Life never seizes to amaze me. Just when you think everything is going well, just when you think life couldn't get any better the universe just looks at you and goes, "hah! you're right it cant get any better but it can get worse."

yesterday
7:30 p.m. - I have a break down in my living room and storm up to my room where I then proceeded to bawl my freaking eyes out

7:31 p.m. - My mom and brother enter to figure out if  A. I am being dramatic B. Am actually just joking or C. (its definitely C) That my closest and oldest friends are currently meeting to make a decision about whether or not they want me to be in their life

8:00 p.m. - The crying subsides

8:01 p.m. - My mom lays down some pretty disappointing wisdom ... apparently all I can do is wait and see what happens, and apparently you cant "make someone forgive you" (this is honestly earth shattering news to my ears)

8:30 p.m. - Pizza is ordered and the movie watching ensues

8:55 p.m. - I finally don't feel like ripping my heart out

9:25 p.m. - The urge to repeatedly call feels more like when you want another slice of cake at a birthday party but know you shouldn't and less like the first day a smoker of 20 years decides to quit

10:32 p.m. - Realizing that 'Julie and Julia' is a great movie and wondering why I don't watch it more often

today
I have reached a conclusion, best friends fight. We fight ruthlessly and we fight dirty, because we know each other better than we know ourselves. I mean look at Blair and Serena (if you don't get this reference please go watch Gossip Girl asap) they fought so much, and each time it seemed like they would never make up but every time they did. If Serena can sleep with Blair's boyfriend then I am pretty sure we can figure it out too. I guess it just takes time. Time to breath, time to think, time to figure out how much we mean to each other and if its worth throwing it all away. I mean look at me less than 24 hours ago I thought I was going to die from dehydration due to the amount of tears that had excreted from my body, but now I'm just online shopping and drinking tea. Time changes everything. Do not get me wrong I am hurt and feel just as crappy as yesterday, but today I at least have clarity.

-emily elizabeth