A lot has been going on in my life this past month; my car required major repair ($800 worth to be exact), best friends (one in particular) is now a complete stranger, I am practically failing precalc.. so in sum my month has been pretty shitty. But I plan on leaving everything toxic, negative, and just plain annoying in 2015. Unfortunately precalc cannot be abandoned but do not fret I will keep you all updated with that major mountain once i overcome it..because I will. I am currently listening to Adele's new album on vinyl, which I got for Christmas and wearing my new lush face mask (psst check out my snap for daily updates from yours truly ➘
If you know me I am always the "nice girl" always looking out for others before myself, but lately I realized that I need to be selfish sometimes because for starters I think after the kind of year I've had I deserve it, and plus judging from past experiences, I almost always end up getting hurt. So this year I want work on doing things that will help me become a better version of myself, even if that means leaving old habits and relationships in the dust. Its ultimately going to suck and be pretty hard but in the end it will be worth it.. or at least that's what I'm telling myself.
Now for a somewhat embarrassing and way tooo personal paragraph. Here goes nothing.
Another sorta goal or resolution for this year is to be brave. Now I have never been in love or even in a real relationship at that but there is one boy that I know who has had my heart wrap around his finger for years and has no idea. Can you believe that?! We are strangers at this point in time but for a short period in my life we were friends. I miss that. I miss him. Whoever 'he' even is. About a week ago i ran into him in the halls. It was one of those " we bumped into each other and now we have locked eyes and you go left but I go right and end up repeatedly running into each other' type of things. You know those moments in romantic comedies where the whole world stops and its just two people smiling and laughing at a completely awkward yet intimate situation. Anyways, my point is to note that ever since then I can't seem to get him off my mind. In movies they make this thing seem normal and in a short week he will have fallen madly deeply and crazy in love with me. But as of now in reality I feel completely trapped and giddy and confused but happy. Happy and confused I guess. Because as I write these words there is a cheesy happy grin that creeped upon my face and I hate it but love it or him???? Any advice? Anyone?
(The song I pathetically play for hours while daydreaming about a boy who still has yet discovered my existence :)
-emily elizabeth
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