HOW TO TALK YOURSELF OUT OF LOVE

So I'm on twitter today, as usual. You know just the daily dose of social media stalking, and I come across my , um.. ex crush shall we say. Lets call him Dan. Dan tweets that he is going to miss our high school and how hard it is to say goodbye and I kind of lost it and have an epiphany all at the same time. It was like I got hit with a pound of rocks. Now in order to understand you need to go back about 3 weeks.

Dan and I had been texting back and forth for a few weeks now, and everything was going great. I was happy and excited, but then it came time to really hang out, you know in person. THe thought scared me a little but I was all in, until I unintentionally ended up on his exes' twitter page, AND instagram. I swear it was an accident but of course once I got there all hell broke loose. I come across a picture of them together, they looked so cute and she was beyond gorgeous. From then on I compared myself to her and any other girls Dan had ever encountered in his life. It became a weird routine, wake up, check Dans' page, check Dans' other girls pages, eat breakfast. I had become an obsessive self conscious weirdo. And I can handle being weird and self conscious but obsessive took it to whole other level. So I stopped, I stopped texting back, I stopped going on social media, and I stopped thinking I was good enough for him. It was something I had never experienced before, like as soon as a guy was truly interested in me, all of me, I created a million and one red flags and reasons why he must be mistaken. I started comparing myself to other girls and how I could never measure up to his standard. I created an imaginary scenario in my head, and for what? Why do girls do this, why do I do this?

To this day I don't know why I did it, maybe out of fear or maybe it was for the best ... Who knows but I hope all girls out there and guys too who are reading this know that you are enough. You are beautiful and you are worthy and if no one is telling you this then you need to look in the mirror and tell yourself.


SIDE NOTE: Got a little personal for the first time on here, I don't know how I feel about it but I wrote this months ago not sure if I should post it but oh well. Let me know what you guys think and if you like my more personal posts. Until next time, I love you lovelies so very much. X

-emily elizabeth